Feb 1 2013
Picture an ordinary day in school. You’re sitting in history class day dreaming about the beautiful sexy girl next to you. In the day dream, that beautiful sexy girl and the popular kid that has 5 bajillion friends are conversing. The popular kid is inquiring her about this massive party he’s having at his house because his parents just recently left for vacation for a week. Meanwhile, you’re listening in to the conversation and the kid approaches you and asks you about attending the party. “Hey kid, wanna come to this gigantic party I’m hosting tonight?” he says. You go along and you say “Yeah, sure. I’m down with that.” The popular kids’ parents went to Milwaukee because they have family up there and they’re avid skiers. Unfortunately, the host passes out at the party after having a little too much to drink. About 20 minutes later, the light bulb goes off above your head. You decide to request to the crappy D.J that’s been playing a two hour remix of some crappy house mix to play “Jam On It” by Newcleus. You had no idea you were a B-Boy under the tutelage of Turbo and Ozone from “Breakin’” and “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.” And thus, you ripped up the dance floor to shreds. Whether it was popping, locking, or just plain breakin’, you mesmerized the circle that was formed by fellow party attendants. You saved the party from being flushed down the toilet with the puke from some of the party attendants. That consummates tonight’s Knick win over the Bucks. However, the Knicksian trend of losing the first quarter is still in tact. I have no clue how many first quarters they’ve lost, but keep in mind, they’ve lost a cluster of them. The first quarter of this year is playing reverse roles with the third quarter from last year. The Bucks had the lead 53-47 at half, but the Knicks won the third quarter and dominated the Bucks in the fourth, holding them to 13 points. A double digit win on Friday night, in which the Knicks would usually lose because of that jackass, Robert Randolph, is absolutely peachy. Here are some notes and stuff:
- She works hard for the rebounds, he rather. Tyson Chandler doubtlessly was tonight’s player of the game. In honor of Dennis Rodman’s new upcoming children’s book, Tyson had a Rodman-like game, scoring 8 points and hauling in 20 rebounds, 8 of them being offensive. Tyson also played the role of a window scaffolder, cleaning the glass fluently by stroking his towel with water on it up and down the window in fluid motions. At one moment in the game, Tyson tried to be Marcus Camby by trying to pass between two defenders, but didn’t succeed in doing so, resulting in a turnover. As Clyde said tonight after he pulled his 18th rebound, Tyson was boundin’ and astoundin’.
- Lately, Amare Stoudemire’s overall game and post game have been excellent. Ditto to tonight, where his post game was en fuego, posting up the block party host, Larry Sanders, Ersan Ilyasova; whoever it was, Amare took it to the rack and converted. STAT got to the foul line many times as well and converted 7-8 free throws. When you’re on Twitter reading plenty of Hakeem Olajuwon references, that means its wonderful, and its a classic if-I-earned-an-X-amount-money-every-time-someone-says-that scenario. But seriously, if you had a quarter for every time someone said that tonight, you would be pretty much rich. Not sure what the amount would be, but I’m thinking you would have enough quarters to spend on a bag of Lifesavers or an abundant of candy bars. Thank you for that, Amare. Please keep it up, STAT.
- Raymond Felton had a great efficient night, shooting 5-8 scoring 14 points and had 8 assists, except, when he was air assaulted in a dogfight by Larry Sanders in the first quarter where Sanders swatted literally smacked the ball into the MSG rafters and then out of the roof. Literally. That rejection officially made me legitimately scared of Larry Sanders, not that I wasn’t scared of him already. My heart stopped in the third quarter when Duck waddled back to the bench after re injuring his pinky in the third quarter after going for a board against Samuel Dalembert. He did come back in fourth quarter, which was a colossal sigh of relief because if he had to stay out for the rest of the game, that would of really sucked. I don’t wanna deal with point guard struggles again. We don’t want to have J-Kidd running the point anytime soon again. Oh, here’s some great news! The x-rays were negative, which makes it all the more better, courtesy of our friends at Posting & Toasting.
- Four days ago, Wall Street Journal writer, Chris Herring tweeted some of the most outlandish and anguishing statistics you’ll ever read. Yes, the stats were sadly true. There were no typos. J.R Smith must of read that tweet before he played the Magic, therefore, it got stuck in his head as a positive motivational booster to make better shooting decisions, because he was like “I’ll be Jason Kidd for tonight,” thus attempting 13 three pointers, 5 of them going in off of spot-up catch and shoots. Catch and shoot. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. That is the ode to the awesome Chris Herring.
- Melo had a bad shooting night, however, he had a 25 point game, making it his 31st straight game with at least 20 points. All-around Melo was present as well, grabbing 8 rebounds and dishing 6 assists, but he did cough the ball up 7 times. I’m calling Melo will extend his streak to at least 35 20+ point games. If he doesn’t extend his streak, then Glen Grunwald needs to really consider trading him to the Lakers. Seriously, he’s worse than Dwight Howard (don’t worry, I’m being heavily sarcastic. If you actually took this snippet seriously without me typing all of this stuff in parentheses, you need help).
- Iman Shumpert, or as my dad and I would call him, Shump N’ Play, is still a work in progress. It seems like he doesn’t fully trust his injured knee yet to take fluent jump shots. He shot off of one leg a couple of times tonight. Patience is a virtue, everyone. Shumpy did take some threes, and only hit one of them. If Shump can hit the three consistently, somewhere around 35%, particularly from the corner, he’ll be yet another three point weapon teams have to look for in future match-ups, making the Knicks spacing bigger than Eddy Curry’s lap band diet.
- Even though he played tonight, it would of been better if Jason Kidd sat down for the whole game rather than playing. But J-Kidd still played 25 minutes at the two guard position where he excels at this season. He didn’t do much, but did have a block. MOVE OVER, LARRY SANDERS.
- Pablo Prigioni played 11 minutes, and didn’t really do anything. However, his one rebound did help perhaps the heftiest Knicks rebound margin this season. The littlest things can help, Prigs!
- Ronnie Brewer got his 1 minute of run aka speed walking. Earlier, I said that the Bucks can hack him all they want. Hack-A-Brew is preferred in garbage time situations. I guess Tobias Harris didn’t buy it, so he proceeded to play his garbage time minutes just like everyone else did respectively.
- Steve Novak was reported alive again! He made a corner three. Alas, that was his only made shot of the night. At least we know he’s still relevant.
- Tonight’s Mike Dunleavy player of the game besides Mike Dunleavy: Ersan Ilyasova. See what I did there? Yeah. Even though Mike Dunleavy went 5-6 from the field and convinced the Knicks defense to take angel dust once again, Ersan Ilyasova was killing the defense as well with his jumper, although, he’s been struggling finding the net in recent games. Although he shot well, it was against the Knicks defense, so maybe that might be rescinded like all of Melo’s technical fouls this year.
- Dunk contest countdown for James White: 14 days.
- Whenever Mike Breen says his signature “Bang!” phrase, remember to play “Bang Bang” by Danger Danger. Great song, by the way.
What a great win, considering the win was on the worst day to play basketball because of that guy we all loathe…I’m not even gonna say his name because we all know who he is. The dynamic backcourt of Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis were shut down to a combined 12-38 shooting. Raymond Felton played some great defense on Jennings, or was Jennings’ shot was really off? It was a little of both, although, I’ve been an advocate of putting Shump on quicker point guards, and come to think of it, I think everyone wants Shump on quicker point guards, given Ray’s struggles on quicker point guards i.e in most recent games: Jeff Teague and Jameer Nelson. Ray did play well, though, even with his inspiring return after the re-injuring of his pinky.
I adore Monta Ellis with all my heart, but his shooting woes are on infinite worrying levels right now. The best Bucks writer on the planet, K.L Chouinard, made me laugh so hard at this tweet he sent me while Ersan Ilyasova was on a heat check in the first half and I couldn’t agree with him more on it. If you want to read further into Ellis’ recent shooting crapshoot he wrote a piece on Monta’s shooting struggles at Behindthebuckpass.com. I tweeted an over/under possibility of Monta Ellis finishing the game shooting under 40%, and he’s now shooting .399% on the year after this game. Whoever bet on that was pretty lucky (me!). Mike Breen also called Monta “Monta Willis”, which made me snort like a pig because it sounded pretty funny when he spit it out.
The Knicks move to 29-15 and face that son of a gun, James Johnson, and the Kings tomorrow. Now that I mentioned James Johnson, lets hope he doesn’t hit another buzzer-beater. And thank god its at MSG and not at Sleep Asphyxiation Arena err…Sleep Train Arena *snores.*